I’m sitting here at the keyboard, trying not to be nauseous. I got some package in the mail fro... Will-writin� time!...

I’m sitting here at the keyboard, trying not to be nauseous. I got some package in the mail from some dude today – some reverend, I think from the Midwest – who says he has seen God. He included proof in the form of letters and photographs of clouds.

As I opened the package, a rank smell wafted up from the envelope. I threw it away, but the smell continued to rise up from the trash can. I threw the envelope into the dumpster, but I’m still feeling kind of queasy.

If you breathe anthrax, you could develop cold or flu-like symptoms including sore throat, mild fever and muscle aches, according to CDC. You could then begin to cough, have chest discomfort, shortness of breath, tiredness and muscle aches.

OK – who wants the ’99 Saturn with 120,000 miles and coffee-stained upholstery? And the couch, with coffee-stained upholstery? And the lamp with no shade (not coffee stained)?

Tuberculous is a good one, because every time I shake hands with a sickly looking skinny person, I get to worry for about two weeks whether I have tuberculosis. It causes weakness, weight loss, fever and night sweats. Soon you’re coughing up blood.

I especially I like the old-fashioned word for it: consumption. It sums up nicely the effects – if you say “I feel consumptive today,” most people won’t peg you for a hypochondriac, just a fella who knows a lot of big words.

That’s a lot of time for will writin’. We don’t want the family going to court over that photograph of trumpeter Al Hirt with former President Nixon.

Rabies symptoms include fever, headache and general malaise – I felt that way last night. As the disease progresses, other symptoms include insomnia, anxiety, confusion ... sounding familiar? ,,, plus partial paralysis, excitation, hallucinations, agitation, hypersalivation, difficulty swallowing and fear of water.

And brown recluse spiders – symptoms from bites include nausea, vomiting, fever and rashes, along with muscle and joint pain. They like to hide places, like in the Midwest, but that doesn’t mean they’re not headed for the sheets on your bed.

I’m not sure people with hobbies or cable television have time for these concerns, but then they probably haven’t decided who will get their collection of coffee-stained yo-yos yet.

This is cache, read story here